ATTENTION liberals, modernists, or any other bible-perverters:

You must understand the love of our lord. You must grasp these fundamental concepts of christianty:

  1. Do good deeds, or ask for forgiveness.
  2. You are made in God’s image, yet you will make mistakes.
  3. God is all good, and also created evil.
  4. God can do anything, but we have free will

If correctly understood, the reader of these will make it into heaven.

Read closely and avoid any confusion, sinners.